Pink

Im off to Pinks concert tonight and I can't wait - I think its going to be so much fun and I plan on partying like a teenager!

New clothes

The last 2 days I think I have spent a good 6+ hours searching the net for blog templates and backgrounds. I have a HUGE list bookmarked that I will use when I am bored of this one. But for now, I like it. Tomorrow? Who knows!! Its amazing that there are so many generous people out there who allow you to download their designs for free.

Do you have any faves?

Missing but not forgotten

So I think its time to bring my blog back to life. Its been a long time between posts and so so much has happened in my world. Some good and some not so good. Seeing as its 11pm at night and I am bone tired I will come back in a couple of days with a massive update. If anyone still reads this LOL!

Why is it all so hard sometimes?

So I have been in a big stinky grumpy mood for weeks now and I just can't seem to lift myself out of it, which is not like me at all. It seems that everything around me depends on me to hold it all together, that everything seems to be such a struggle, that there is never time for the fun stuff anymore. Work is really busy and taking a lot of my energy, Ayesh is a typical vivacious 5 year old that doesn't have an off switch, or a quiet one. And to be honest I wouldn't have her any other way. Dear non-hubby is busy busy busy as he is off to Beijing in 4 weeks. Im going to miss him soo much as he's gone for 6 weeks!! 6 weeks!! Crikey, thats a long time. Gulp. I guess its a culmination of all the little things chucked together with the winter blues. I haven't even had time or head space to be arty and that annoys me too. Boo hoo.

I know that my life is very blessed and that there are kazillions of people in this world who have it a lot tougher than I do, but this is my blog and I can be all woe is me if I want to!!!

New dress

Do you like my new dress?? Isn't it pretty! My friend Sharon had a link on her blog with freebie blog templates and this one kinda took my fancy. The only prob was that I lost all my blog links so I have spent the last hour or so trawling through my faves to add them here, hopefully I have them all now.

Will post some more in the next couple of days, been a few things happening in my world, some good, some bad.

Sweet dreams for now xxx

Random pics

Just cos I can and I promised to post some of Ayesha's birthday party pics.

Mothers Day....slightly delayed

I had the most beautiful mothers day this year, absolutely perfect in every way. I was woken to lots of cuddles and kisses and exclamations of "mum, mum its a special day just for you!" Bliss. I was well and truly spoilt with lovely gifts made by Ayesh and bought from the stall at school and Nick had me in tears and tears with his gift. He made me a photo book of pics of Ayesh and I and its all about why she loved her mummy. Now for those of you who know me, I cry at the drop of a hat, happy tears sad tears, any tears really. This book had me sobbing from the second I opened the page and realised what he had made me. I truly am very lucky to have 2 people who love me very much - for all my good bits and not so good bits. So after my big tear and sook fest we headed to one of my fave places - the Dandenongs - Olinda and Sassafras. We walked around and noodled in the many little shops that are there sipping delicious Lindt Hot chocolates and eating toasted marshmallows. A blissfully happy day, feeling the love.

I hope that all the mums out there in blog land had a wonderful day

Retreat joy

I have finally found the time to sit down and post about the amazing art retreat with Misty and Traci.

Thursday was spent playing and futzing with different Golden mediums in a class with Jacky, who is just such a lovely natured soul, a very talented lady who was a lot of fun. Her and Jo did a great job organising the whole retreat.
Friday was an experience to never forget. The Misty class. Lordy, did I have butterflies in my tummy, I was worried that I would be terrible, that everyone else would be able to paint, in fact, i was sure I was going to forget how to paint all together!! And meeting Misty, cripes, that almost sent me into conniptions. Misty is an artist and a person that I have admired for many years and I was going to see her. For real. And paint in the same room as her. Squeal! What a fantastic time I had, for the first time in a long time I felt alive, my heart and soul was buzzing with inspiration and energy. My hands were covered in paint and I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. Misty was very generous with her time and her knowledge, and she was a great teacher. It was nice to see all the little things she does, and how easy she makes it look!! So this is what I accomplished in the day - im quite pleased with it for a first attempt!




And this is the fabulous piece that I bought from Misty!


On Saturday I did Traci's class and had an absolute blast. Traci's style is very very different to mine and at times I found it quite hard to let go and work freely, but I did and I am quite proud of the results. Traci works fast and furious and I can't believe how much fun I had. As you can see from the pic, im a messy worker!
I met some of the most amazing women in this retreat, some that I have spoken to through blogs and some I met for the very first time. I hope that we can all meet again somewhere down the track and make wonderful messy amounts of art.

So all in all it was a very inspiring time, there was so much to take in and look at and listen to. My mind was just about ready to explode with ideas and things I wanted to try and do.

I think the best thing though was being around people who were like me, who understood what really makes me tick, what makes my heart skip a beat. They got the excitement of a new technique, of a paint colour, or a texture that happens accidently. They got the feeling of paint under their nails and in their hair and how soothing it is to be creating, how nothing else matters around you when you have a paintbrush in your hand, that you can pretty much tune everything out!

So a big thanks to all those who came, those who organised it and those who helped create these unbelievable memories of mine xxx

Weird.

For some reason I dont seem to be able to add pics, so I will try again later.

Where does time go?

Last week my baby turned 5.

Where on earth did the last 5 years go?

I remember so clearly the moment she arrived and I held her for the first time in my arms. My world changed that day, suddenly I saw everything in colour, my heart almost burst with love and my inner mother tiger came out and growled. 5 years down the track and in my life is this amazing little girl, someone who loves very deeply and passionately, someone who is unsure of herself yet possesses a wonderful quiet confidence, someone who is learning all the time about millions of different things, someone who is learning more about her feelings and emotions and others peoples feelings, someone who cares very deeply about her friends, always wanting to make sure they are ok and happy. Ayesh is such a delightful girl, she never ceases to amaze me or frustrate me!! Having her in my world is what makes it turn for me, as cliche as it is, I really can't imagine what life would be like without her. I hope I never ever ever find out.

She had a wonderful birthday week, yes week, and was totally and utterly spoilt rotten. As all kids should be. Lots of presents to open up on her birthday morning followed by pancakes for brekky then off to school. Family came over that night for more presents and icecream birthday cake, Ayesha's choice of course.

On Saturday we had a fantastic arty birthday party with her friends at this place, where they were all deep in concentration with their masterpieces. Seriously it was bizarre that so many 5 and 6 year old were so quiet! It truly was a fantastic day, I would recommend anyone in Melbourne to check it out for their kids. I think we will have another party there in a couple of years.

One of Ayesha's favourite things is Paris, she is obsessed with it and will spot an Eiffel Tower a mile away so as well as lots of little parisian birthday presents, she requested a french poodle birthday cake because poodles are the only dogs in Paris. Making her cake is what I look forward to most of all, I love love love making cakes. Sad aren't I? Anyway, luckily there is a french poodle in one of my cake books, the good old Womens Weekly cookbook, where would we be without it?? She was very impressed with how it turned out and I have to admit so was I.

So a big happy birthday to my girl, I hope that your life is full of love and laughter, that you continue to learn and be amazed with the world and that you always have a friend by your side and that you always always have a true sense of self. I love you baby girl, for every today and every tomorrow xxx

My very last twenty something year

So on the 3rd Feb it was my birthday and it is my very last year of being in my twenties.

Part of me is really jiggy with that and im really really looking forward to being in my 30's and a part of me is a teensy bit sad. Does it mean I have to grow up now? Do I have to start acting a certain way? Whats acceptable behaviour for a 30 something year old?

Then I thought to myself, I've never really followed rules before and I'll never grow up so whats the big deal.

I had a lovely lovely day. Well weekend really. Saturday night went out for dinner with Nick's family to a Turkish restaurant that was heavenly. Everything about the night was fantastic, including the MALE belly dancer. Hubba hubba. Happy birthday to me. After that I met up with some girlfriends at the Belgium Beer Garden and had lots of drinkys. Home about 3.30. Not so pretty.

Lovely sleep in on Sunday morning followed by lots of snuggles and kisses and presents in bed with my 2 favourite people. All feels right with the world when there are family snuggles in bed, my heart is at peace. Had a yummy Yum Cha lunch with my fabulous girlfriends and their hubbys and kiddys. Was nice to catch up with them all and share a meal. Coffee and cake at a Cafe that night and I was done. I was very spoilt and I loved every moment that I had.

My boy has tripped off to Perth for a week and I am very sad. I was born in Perth and moved here to Melb about 8 years ago, and I still consider Perth home as well as here and I miss it to bits. So im a bit grumpy that he is there and I am not. On the flip side its for work so its not like he will have heaps of time to enjoy himself. At least he better not!!! On the flip side I booked my ticket to Kalgoorlie and I am off there for the school holidays for my sisters engagement and to catch up with my mummy and daddy. Bliss. I feel relaxed just thinking about it!

So thats all from me for now - hope all of you in the land of blog are fine and dandy
xx

Hurrah! First day success!

So the first day of school was amazing. Ayesh looked so damn cute and grown up and proud and excited and ready. Ready for the big challenges and adventures. Ready for fun. Ready to learn.

I know I am biased, but is this not the cutest, happiest girl?

By all reports the day was a big success, and so have the others that have followed. She is just loving it.

I sobbed.

And sobbed.

But only when I was in the car when no-one could see me.

I am so proud and even more in love with her if thats possible.

One more sleep

Eek.

When I wake up tomorrow I am going to be a school mum.

Eek.

My little girl has her first day of school.

Life changing moments.

In 3 more sleeps, my world is about to change forever.

My litle girl is starting school.

Holy crap. Surely she's too little? Isn't she just a baby still? We had orginally planned for Ayesh to do 4 year old kinder again but she has grown up and changed so much over the last couple of months we have changed our minds and off to school she goes and I am petrified. And horribly excited for her! And scared.

My mind is full of "what if's"

What if she hates it? What if she can't find anyone to play with, or other kids won't let her play with them. What if she can't do something, will anyone notice? Will anyone help? What if she gets picked on, will she be able to stand up for herself? Have I done too much for her over the last 4 years she has been alive, have I taught her how to survive? Taught her how to be nice to others and accepting of everyone, that its important to use manners and be kind to people. What if she is the child that no-one likes? What if I havent taught her enough, havent read enough or practiced her letters enough. Have I taught her enough about how the world around us soimetimes isn't that nice, that other people sometimes aren't nice. I've always been there to protect her, to make her feel safe and loved and special. Who's going to do that now? Will her teacher be able to see that she is scared or upset when she has so many other children to look out for?

Its so hard, so hard to let go, let Ayesh into this world without me there to hold her hand and to guide her. She's on her own now, time for her to grow and really become the person she is meant to be, by herself. Discover what her strengths and weaknesses are, learn how to deal with situations herself. To learn to read and write, discover that there is a whole lot of world out there that she hasn't ever realised existed.

And she is so ready its not funny, she is absolutely bursting with excitement and can't wait. We have been counting down the days for a while and as its getting closer and closer, the buzzes even more.

Im so excited for her like I said, but I am also so very very sad. I am going to miss my little girl like crazy, im going to miss having our funny little chats throughout the day, miss hearing her play, being a part of her crazy games. Im going to miss all the cuddles, holding hands, going for milkshakes together, laughing, dancing to daggy music, having girly days, playing in the park, miss having lunch together, going shopping together.

Im going to miss having my little friend with me all day.

But I can't wait at the same time to watch her grow, be there to hear all she has learnt for the day, what exciting adventures her and her friends got up to in the playground and how she can't wait for it all to happen again the next day.

Theres going to be tears in 3 more sleeps.

And scared, but oh so proud smiles.

Remember me??!

Time is slipping away from me faster than I would like, life just seems to crazy and out of control lately that im finding it hard to catch my breath!

So I know its been a while since ive posted so let me try and think back to whats been happening in our crazy world.

Ok so first up there was Christmas. Wow, that seems so long ago!! Having a 4.5 year old daughter makes for a magical, truly amazing day. The excitement in the air, the anticipation of Santa visiting and then waking on Christmas morning to find out that he did come and left her exactly what she wanted just makes your heart soar, seeing that magic and awe on her face and hearing the excitiment in her squeals is worth every single cent that you spend. We had a great day, lots of love and cuddles. Im not blogging from home right now so I will post some pics soon.

New Years Eve was hot hot hot. But fun. We had some friends over at our house for a BBQ and drinks which was a hoot. Very late night but luckily the hangover wasn't too bad the next day.

Ummm lets see. I went back to work in November supposedly casual but pretty much full time over the last couple of months. Im pretty over it actually, im over not seeing my gal each day and spending quality time with her. I miss hanging out with her. Lot sof learning curves in our family at the moment, learning to function as a 2 working parent family. Its interesting.

So on the creative front I have done DIDDLY. No time, no energy, no mojo. I spent the last weekend with my amazing wonderful beautiful loving friend and for the first time in ages I did something. Something creative. Not necessarily fantastic, but it was artsy fartsy all the same. Must try and fit more time in to be more creative, its my favourite release, my time that I am most "me". Its on my mental list of things to change this year, lets hope I can make it happen!

So I guess thats it for about now. Theres so much running around in my head but im not quite ready to release it into the big bad world of blogs. Maybe one day

Be happy
xxxx

Love this!!

I love that Lisa does this each year...im not sure exactly how long she has done it, but for the last 2 years I look forward to checking whats there every day!

Oh dear....

....once again I have forgotten about my blog and its been ages since I have posted.

I promise to be back soon with a big update on whats been happening!

Time Stealer

I have been spending ridiculous amounts of time on Facebook. Crikey, that place is a time zapper, you log in and hours later you emerge, slightly confused about where you have been and the people you have seen and never 100% sure how you got there!

eek.

So I must be in the running for the "Worlds Worst Blogger" award seeing as it has been 2 months since I posted. Sigh. I spend a fair bit of time on the computer for work and noodling around on the net, reading other peoples blogs etc etc and I have discovered that I have nothing interesting to say. Nothing. Zip. Nilch. Nada. Its quite disheartening and perhaps thats an underlying reason why I haven't posted. I am having an identity crisis of some sort. Why would people want to read what I have to say? Does anyone care what I think what I feel? I read so many blogs that make me think of them in random moments of my day, their words have impacted me in so many ways, sometimes big ways and sometimes small ways. I wonder if I will ever do that to people? I feel like I have so much inside me that I am going to burst, yet I can't seem to convey it to anyone. Sigh. Its hard work somedays let me tell you.

Not much has really been happening over the last 2 months, just the day to day stuff. Ayesh is doing really well with her glasses and wearing a patch for a few hours each day. We are back to the eye docs this Friday so fingers crossed their is improvement. Kindy is still a joy for her and I am really loving this age, she is learning in leaps and bounds and is so inquisitive - no simple answers for this girl, she needs the nitty gritty details.

I am off to Brisbane in 2 weeks time for an artsy fartsy weekend with a bunch of wonderful women. I am really looking forward to it but dreading it at the same time. It will be difficult being away from Ayesh, interstate, seems so far away. I know Nick will be fine with her, but its my job as her mummy to worry. Im also worried about the creative side of things, there has been NO creative flow here in months. Mojo has left the building. Hopfully being around the other girls will kick start me in amazing and wonderful ways.

A girlfriend and I have booked into the Art Journey Retreat next year to do a Misty Mawn class. Misty is one of my most favourite artists in the world. Now how do I hang out until May - its so far away.

I think this will do for now, I shall strive to blog more often
xxx

Happy Birthday

My lovely man celebrated his birthday over the weekend. It was a great night, we went to a fab Indian restaurant then back to our house for drinks where it kicked on until 6am Sunday morning. Needless to say I was extremely poor the next day. Oh well, you only live once!

Happy birthday babe, I love being able to celebrate you and with you. You make my world sparkle in so many ways.

Pics as promised

Ok, so here are some pics as promised - finally got the card reader working - hooray!

These are a couple of the ATC's I have made recently for various swaps

Ayesh and Nick at the footy together

Here is my beautiful gal with her new shiny pink glasses

An exciting week

My weekend away with the fabulous Sharon, Jan & Steph was sensational. Amazing. Inspiring. The cottage was PERFECT, I want to go there again and again! Healesville is a beautiful part of the world, I would definately recommend anyone to go and spend some time there.

So there was lots and lots of giggles, heaps of chocolate and bottles and bottles of champagne and we still managed to creat some masterpieces. The girls are very talented, if you check out Jan's blog there are some pics there of what was done. Seriously, the girls were churning out layouts like there was no tomorrow. All I managed was 2 types of ATC's, a name tag for each girls and a birthday book thingy. Sheesh! I will upload some pics ASAP, my card reader is playing up and I can't get the pics off the camera. I missed Ayesha incredibly, it was very hard not having her kisses and cuddles but I survived, and it made our return so much sweeter to know that we were missed. Its amazing how at first I felt so incomplete without her there, that being a mum and having a child is what defines me now as a person, but after a day I could feel more like the old me in a way, that I can be myself without having Ayesh around. It was all a bit of a weird feeling, not having her there, but a good weird. It was good.

Nick & Ayesha had an awesome weekend together as well, I think it was sensational that they spent a "daddy & daughter" weekend just the two of them, something that doesn't happen often. They went to the footy together and their beloved footy team won (which I think was the first game all year LOL) went out for lunch and went for a picnic. Nick is an amazing dad, him and Ayesh are such good friends, they love doing stuff together, even if it doesn't seem that exciting, the fact its the two of them is enough. Its really heart warming to see.

The other big news is that my little Ayesha got glasses and does she look spunky! She has been so good at wearing them all the time and only taking them off for shower or bed. Im really proud of her. At this stage she has to wear them full time, we go back to the opto in 6 weeks and fingers crossed her eye has improved. If not, then it is on to an eye patch for a while. Again I will post a pic soon.

Hip hip hooray!

Tomorrow afternoon I am off with 3 lovely ladies for a weekend of arty farty goodness. I have packed a suitcase, yes a whole suitcase, just of arty stuff in the hope of creating something wonderful.

Did I mention there will be no kids?

Or husbands/partners?

Just girls?

Im super excited but im really going to miss Ayesh as well - this will be pretty much the first time I have spent overnights away from her - eek!

We are going here - doesn't it look divine? Im hoping its going to be really cold and rainy so we can light the fire and not feel guilty for staying inside alllll day.

Arty Farty Day

We were housebound today whilst the car was being serviced so out came Ayesha's art box for an arty farty day. Perfect day for it as it was cold and rainy in our world. Squeals all round of excitement at the prospect of creating and making wonderful messes.

Her masterpiece of the day was a ballerina music box thingy of which she is super proud!

My gorgeous gal

Thought I would share a pic of my beautiful daughter, Ayesha.

What a truly delicious person she is, I love her more than I ever thought I could love another person

Blogging Virgin

So I have decided to enter the world of blogging as it seems to be the cool thing to do. As always I am about a gazillion years behind the trend, but thats ok. Im cool with that.

What do I want from this blog? Do I want to open up to the whole world with my deep dark secrets, my most vulnerable ramblings, my thoughts, my life? Its a very scary prospect thats for sure, but I shall give it a go. Im hoping that it will be a new forum for showing pics of my beautiful daughter for my family, to display whatever kooky creations I come up with and a great way to stay in contact with friends when life gets too la la.

Hmmm, lets hope I remember that I have a blog